Somebody else's Scarecrow
I consider myself a fairly unselfish person, generally. However, every now and then my narcissism jumps up and bites me in the tushy. These are the moments when I realize that my whole outlook on life centers around my story. Just such a moment happened the other day.
After a year of fighting through a pretty grueling residency with 5 fellow chaplains, we were saying our goodbyes. We cried, we laughed, we promised to write. I was walking to my car with one colleague who is especially dear to me, since we not only went through the residency together, but we did an internship two years ago. For anyone who has taken a unit of CPE, you understand the underlying meaning when I say, "We took CPE together." It means we cried, we laughed, we grieved, we celebrated. It is an experience that can make or break a relationship, and often those who have gone through the soul-searching are bonded with a special tie that comes from being in the proverbial trenches together.
As we were saying goodbye to each other, she stopped and said, "This is the hardest goodbye - what can I say to you? It's like on the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy had to say goodbye to the Scarcrow. You've been with me since the beginning."
As sweet as that sentiment is, in that moment, my first thought was, "Hmm - I thought I was Dorothy." It was a little reality check to realize that I am someone else's Scarecrow. I guess, in a way, we are all actors in each other's stories. Who's the main character? I suppose it's all in the camera angle.
After a year of fighting through a pretty grueling residency with 5 fellow chaplains, we were saying our goodbyes. We cried, we laughed, we promised to write. I was walking to my car with one colleague who is especially dear to me, since we not only went through the residency together, but we did an internship two years ago. For anyone who has taken a unit of CPE, you understand the underlying meaning when I say, "We took CPE together." It means we cried, we laughed, we grieved, we celebrated. It is an experience that can make or break a relationship, and often those who have gone through the soul-searching are bonded with a special tie that comes from being in the proverbial trenches together.
As we were saying goodbye to each other, she stopped and said, "This is the hardest goodbye - what can I say to you? It's like on the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy had to say goodbye to the Scarcrow. You've been with me since the beginning."
As sweet as that sentiment is, in that moment, my first thought was, "Hmm - I thought I was Dorothy." It was a little reality check to realize that I am someone else's Scarecrow. I guess, in a way, we are all actors in each other's stories. Who's the main character? I suppose it's all in the camera angle.
4 Comments:
At 8/12/2006 1:14 AM ,
Anonymous said...
I really like this story, and wow is it the story of most of us. It reminds me of Richard Foster's book, Prayer, when he says that, as we grow, we begin to realize that God is not a part of our lives insomuch as we are a part of God's.
I like that Foster quote a lot, and your story reminds me just how far I have to go. (which is good for me!)
Love you!
- G
At 8/13/2006 11:26 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Verrrrry interesting! It depends on the camera angle...I like that. In my story I'm Dorothy, but I want to be the best "Scarecrow" I can for others I meet along the way. Hopefully to some I'm Glinda the Good Witch, and very hopefully I have not been the Wicked Witch of the West to any (although after the Broadway show that takes on a different camera angle, and that's another story). Anyway, thanks for sharing, that was very thought provoking! - Mom
At 8/13/2006 11:57 PM ,
j kelly said...
The fact that the girl actually used that analogy was kind of brilliant. And not only that, but the fact that you ran with it and turned it into commentary on the whole way you view life was also very brilliant.
I guess everyone is Dorothy in their own story. I wonder how different would the world be if we all focused on being supporting characters in other's stories than being the center of our own? Great post, Rach.
At 8/21/2006 2:44 PM ,
Anonymous said...
Rachel! This is Jesse from back in the Kingsport, CHBC, Day Camp days. I stumbled across your blog after facebook stalking you and it was great to sort of catch up with you and Garin through your posts. I miss you and Garin and even John Warren occasionally. It'd be great to see you all sometime. I hope things are going well for you both!
PS - Kristen Arms and I are engaged and getting married next May!
Jesse Overbay
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home