You'll understand when you're older.
Tonight, at a softball game, all the boys got to hit, but the little girl didn’t – so I made it about age. I was so concerned that she not feel like she was being kept from doing something because she was a girl that I told her, “It looks like only the kids in elementary school get to hit tonight.” And thus I contributed to her education about the virtue of being "older"...
The thing is, I don't understand why being “older” is a virtue in itself. Does being “older” ensure that you will understand life, that you will know what it means to have grief, to experience loss? What about the 14-year-old whose dream of winning the National Spelling Bee in front of millions (okay, probably thousands) of prime-time television viewers is crushed by the word “weltschmerz” in the 19th round of head-to-head spelling? Or the 12-year-old who now lives with her aunt because her mother was deported after their car was pulled over in a crackdown on illegal immigration? Or the 5-year-old who will not even have the chance to learn from life because he was executed in his home along with his parents, grandparents and siblings?
When I am shocked by a 3-year-old lying in a coma because his step-father shook him in anger, it is not because I have not lived long enough. When I don’t have any words to say to a family who’s just received news that their mother has a non-curable disease, it is not because, in my youth, I cannot imagine their grief. In my “short” 28 years, I have had my share of heartache and loss.
I rather like the phrase, “If you’re a young fool, you’ll be an old fool.” Nothing is guaranteed to come with age – whether 10, 40, or 90, you can choose to engage in life or withdraw from it. Experience can be a great teacher, but unless the student is willing, the lessons will be missed. The lessons are all around us, no matter how young or old we are.
The thing is, I don't understand why being “older” is a virtue in itself. Does being “older” ensure that you will understand life, that you will know what it means to have grief, to experience loss? What about the 14-year-old whose dream of winning the National Spelling Bee in front of millions (okay, probably thousands) of prime-time television viewers is crushed by the word “weltschmerz” in the 19th round of head-to-head spelling? Or the 12-year-old who now lives with her aunt because her mother was deported after their car was pulled over in a crackdown on illegal immigration? Or the 5-year-old who will not even have the chance to learn from life because he was executed in his home along with his parents, grandparents and siblings?
When I am shocked by a 3-year-old lying in a coma because his step-father shook him in anger, it is not because I have not lived long enough. When I don’t have any words to say to a family who’s just received news that their mother has a non-curable disease, it is not because, in my youth, I cannot imagine their grief. In my “short” 28 years, I have had my share of heartache and loss.
I rather like the phrase, “If you’re a young fool, you’ll be an old fool.” Nothing is guaranteed to come with age – whether 10, 40, or 90, you can choose to engage in life or withdraw from it. Experience can be a great teacher, but unless the student is willing, the lessons will be missed. The lessons are all around us, no matter how young or old we are.
posted by Rachel @ 9:24 PM
1 Comments:
At 6/11/2006 5:03 PM ,
j kelly said...
What an excellent point! i sometimes wonder how some very young people get to be so very wise. maybe their wisdom does come from being a very willing student and a very critical thinker not just of their own lives but when observing the lives of other people. or maybe they have been reincarnated several times and these people have actually lived out their years already as other people and just understand more about life. yes, that could be it. i obviously have become very wise in my 24 years.
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