You deserved it.
Last week, I was recounting to a colleague the early morning drama at my house, which consisted of various liquids spilling on my countertops, my floors and myself. When I told her how I had knocked a huge cup of coffee all over the counter, she responded, “Aww, poor baby.” I went on to describe how I had spilled yogurt on my lap while driving, to which she responded, “Now that you deserved – you shouldn’t be doing anything in your car besides driving.” Sure. True. I should only drive when driving. Aside from the fact that that’s not going to happen, the “you deserved it” theology feels uncomfortable.
For example, should I treat a 65-year-old smoker with lung cancer differently than a 65-year-old runner with degenerative kidney disease? Where does “you deserved it” fit in here? I realize that the smoker might have different issues (i.e. guilt, regret), but does the runner not have similar issues? If we are being honest, what do any of us "deserve"?
I have no answers to this, only questions. When the people I love, and the people they love, are hurting, "you deserved this" or "you didn't deserve that" seems insufficient.
For example, should I treat a 65-year-old smoker with lung cancer differently than a 65-year-old runner with degenerative kidney disease? Where does “you deserved it” fit in here? I realize that the smoker might have different issues (i.e. guilt, regret), but does the runner not have similar issues? If we are being honest, what do any of us "deserve"?
I have no answers to this, only questions. When the people I love, and the people they love, are hurting, "you deserved this" or "you didn't deserve that" seems insufficient.
2 Comments:
At 6/22/2006 2:48 AM ,
j kelly said...
Good questions. Very difficult to answer. When I witness things like someone being diagnosed with lung cancer who has never smoked in her life (and I know you see plenty of those ironies at work), it makes me feel like nobody really ever gets what they deserve. Good or bad. Not in this life anyway.
I can't believe that girl had the nerve to act like she always only drives while driving. My car is a place for me to do my hair, my makeup, change clothes, and eat my breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner... that's why you learn to drive with your knees so both hands are always free! Silly girl.
At 7/31/2006 11:40 PM ,
myleswerntz said...
since when did you get a blog and get to be such a writer?
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